Beerhaze
"Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs, snakes, spiders and rugby players bite." How Aussie parents tuck their kids into bed at night.

Beerhaze
"Hello! You have a nice dog. Opiates are bad. Beautiful day today. My parents talk to pixies. Bye!" - Polite home-schooled kid I met today.

Beerhaze
Madonna is now in that part of her career where she can only surprise people at the Super Bowl by giving birth to an antelope on stage.

Beerhaze
I find it odd that my son's teacher would like to see him skip grade one without knowing how horribly he screwed up when doing our taxes.

Beerhaze
iPhone 5’s voice-to-text feature auto-corrects "Horny enough to bang your mom!" to "Sorry to hear about your mom!" USELESS for Twitter.

Beerhaze
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed.